When I was younger a cosmetic dentist said I should be a face model due to my bone structure. My dad refused. I had low self esteem. At home I was told I was ugly and usually the ugly child gets pretty when they are older by a parent. Home and school I was constantly bullied. Told I had a face for radio at school, which my dad thought it was hilarious. I should connect the dots with my pimples family would joke together. My cross eye and pop bottle glasses were made fun of. I got older and I was illegally disowned and homeless due to my family really didn’t like me. Lots of physical abuse happened growing old so bad my eyes were almost clawed out and my hair pulled out. People still believed I was spoiled.

Later on in my life I was connected with someone building a beauty business who needed a face model. I was asked if I would help and let a photographer photo my face. I agreed. JC Penny picked my face for the photo for the ad and I was in the Sunday paper which I have always been grateful for. I no longer have the newspaper. When I was suicidal I tore it up plus a Letter of Recommendation for college my English high school teacher wrote for me.

I had times where I was offered to model when I was a young adult, but people would warn me to stay away.  (Later on when I became a Lady Trucker I learned about Human Trafficking and question the interaction and how they knew so much to tell me to stay away.) I was pleaded not to meet the people, but I chose a busy public restaurant for the meeting. No one showed up but a guy in a booth in front of me who out of no where said he was waiting for a no show. I didn’t say anything and continued to eat my breakfast I ordered. I didn’t have a good gut feeling so I finished my breakfast, paid and left. All of this happened before the internet.

I decided as a single parent, who was at that time considering suicide, to take some professional photos hoping that would help. I was cut down for doing it, told I was so stupid to pay a photographer for professional photos and it was a waste of money. I did it anyway. They still tried to find a way to dirty it up but I stood my ground. I used one photo shortly after for a Commercial Casting Audition that I didn’t get the spot but was an amazing experience. Pretty cool how things can work out.

Now I do Adult content modeling as a hobby. There is risks to doing it. There is risks to doing anything really. I used to be an over the road truck driver in dangerous locations like truck stops, rest areas, side of the road broke down in the middle of nowhere, on a steep mountain cliff with a semi combination (Vail)…. I have been among dangerous people dating ignorantly. I think the difference is awareness, self control, self esteem, and boundaries. Younger, had my self esteem been allot better, I wouldn’t have given so many people access to me. Allot of people are entitled and very toxic. It is good to set boundaries and believe in yourself, even if you are alone. Alone believing in myself when I decided if I was going to live I would live life on my terms, doing that I found better because I demanded better. People come and go. Look in the mirror and love who you are.

Keep Going…