How I deal with negative thoughts
I do have negative thoughts. I talk about them with my trusted friend which is my husband. Sometimes I talk about them with my children. Talking to my children some might have opinions about but I think it is good for them to relate and know talking about stuff is a good thing. Sometimes my children have a perspective I never thought of.
When no one is available to talk I will journal. I just dump all my thoughts and after I am done writing I sort them out. I ask myself two sided questions. Good or bad? Weakness and strength, etc not to beat myself up but to look broader. Then if there is a weakness I want to work on I set a goal or find speakers or books on the subject. Sometimes where I thought there was weakness was a hidden strength but it is difficult to see if I am my own worst enemy. There are 12 step groups and support groups for different topics. Would they be helpful? There are tele-health therapists, some free or on a sliding scale. I look at things as an opportunity to grow.
There was a time I considered taking my own life. I looked at my child and decided if I was going to live it would be on my terms. Hell, what more did I have to lose? Dead beat ex-boyfriends and their friends stalking me, nearly taking everything. No family other than my son at the time. I was a joke to everyone and a topic of juicy gossip that came from selfish hypocrites needing attention. Why not choose myself on my terms if I was at deaths door anyway? So I told allot of people to fuck off and I started the rebuilding. From there it got interesting to say the least.
Now I am a cougar trying to get my youth back, regretting lost time trying to make the most out of what I have. My hindsight suggestion is make sure you aren’t your own worst enemy, create a life that is beautiful and tell people to fuck off faster. Laugh more. Cry less (seriously I wasted allot of time crying over people in hindsight I embarrassed myself to even know). Go to the gym to help the body and brain. Read allot of good books. Enjoy life. Seriously choosing to keep going my way was the best decision I made.
I am still on my birthday month time out online. Putting this out there for those who need it. KEEP GOING!