I hear allot online listening to different view points and it seems like right now many are preoccupied with everyone else’s life but their own. Let me tell you a little about my life.
I have been married twice. The first marriage I was widowed to a person I learned after his death he was seeing other women while I was that stay at home housewife at times working and going to school while taking care of house and home. After he passed I was traumatized with no support due to others either taking out their grief on me, sabotaging me for attention or taking all the wrong advice from people who could care less about me. I had very bad self esteem, very ignorant, and instead of telling people where they could go with their abuse I accepted I deserved it.
Fast forward…. After multiple tries at fixing my life, no medication or drug to make the pain go away, domestic violent relationships, I sat one day sick and tired of being sick and tired and ready to make a drastic decision. Decided if I was going to go on with life I would make some drastic changes. I mean what the heck… If I committed suicide would the drastic matter? I made a list of what I wanted and no longer wanted in my life and that included people. I was a single parent and my child needed me and more importantly I needed to figure out how to fix me. People where shit and I was ready to be alone as a single parent if I had to for the rest of my life.
I made a list of what I wanted in a partner, friend, etc. I told toxic friends and family to go away forever. Some were making my child pick between me and them!!! I started going to the gym even though they said it was stupid and finished school even though they thought it was stupid. Then I met my now spouse. We hit it off. I did not allow him to buy anything for my child in the beginning. I have had men try to buy me through my child. I took my child out of the equation allowing my child to accept later.
We didn’t get intimate until much later and instead built a friendship. My now spouse proposed to me almost 26 years ago and I said yes. After the marriage my child was needing stability and his blood family told my child he would forever never have a family again since his blood dad died. The blood relatives refused to blend and became more emotionally abusive. My husband asked if he could adopt him. My child said all I have wanted was a dad, Please. I told both sides of the previous spouses family I no longer wanted contact with them after the adoption. One was even more abusive, which I found interesting later after finding out my previous husband who died had a child (I learned through my child’s DNA test done later) with another woman and questioned if they knew about that as well. The previous spouse mom agreed and thought my child needed stability and the extended needed to understand. Most of the previous spouses family harassed me through the years despite my previous spouse did request to me our child be adopted since he knew he wouldn’t be around as my child got older.
I got pregnant on my honeymoon of my now marriage due to birth control failing which was a blessing. Both of my children are best friends and very close. We did not have family or religious support. Many times we were harassed and some even mocked saying perhaps someone is paying someone to harass. Police claimed it was just children so I just asked for reports for tracking since it started leading to arson. Mind you at that time I was the equivalent to todays Trad wife who was a turn the other cheek Christian. Pastors constantly wanted to drag demons out of me and due to the community abuse I began to study psychology, philosophy and history while teaching homeschool. I decided later on after giving multiple beliefs a chance none was a good fit and I would live my life according how I saw it healthy. I had many rumors going on even to the point some were saying I was on meth. You can be the most religious person on the block and people will never be pleased, so I decided to quit people pleasing. Even a therapist said I needed to start ignoring.
My perspective in regards to the alpha female / religious law debates now is my life is none of your business. Many people have an opinion but where are they in their own life? From all my study I have learned other peoples opinions and beliefs are unimportant. In the end what I would change quicker is telling more people to Fuck Off and doing what I am doing now. Life is about quality not quantity and much of my life is not anyone’s business.
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